Sunday, February 15, 2009

Pretty Pink Riding Hood

Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a garden fashionista, the prettiest creature that was ever seen. Many people were excessively fond of her and one of them had a pretty pink riding hood made for her. It suited her so well that everybody called her Pretty Pink Riding Hood.

PPRH was very fond of cats and gardening but one day she decided to get a puppy too as she thought that having a puppy around would be great fun. Poor deluded thing.

So PPRH got her little basket, put on her pretty pink riding hood, and happily skipping along, she went in search of a puppy. After searching high and low, walking through dark mysterious woods, climbing several Dutch mountains, (click vid to see what they look like as you have never ever seen mountains like that before and get a real taste of the Netherlands too. It doesn't get anymore Dutch than this.)

wading knee deep through ice cold streams until she finally found Ickle Puppy Tara.
So after much kissing, hugging and petting, PPRH put Ickle Puppy Tara in her basket and went home again, over the Dutch mountains and through the dark mysterious woods and ...., well, you know the drill. For a while they were very happy but Ickle Puppy Tara grew and grew and one day PPRH noticed something about Ickle Puppy Tara that she had never noticed before.

Oh Ickle Puppy Tara, what big feet you have!
All the better to run far, far away from you with.

Oh Ickle Puppy Tara what big ears you have!
All the better to ignore everything you say with.

Oh Ickle Puppy Tara, what big brown eyes you have!
All the better to delude you into thinking I'm a poor innocent widdle angel with.

Oh Ickle Puppy Tara, what a big nose you have!
All the better for sticking it into places where it doesn't belong with.

Oh Ickle Puppy Tara, what a big mouth you have!
All the better for biting you with!

Oh Ickle Puppy Tara, what big and sharp teeth you have!
All the better for eating you up with.

But before things could turn nasty, very nasty indeed, PPRH quickly whipped out something to distract Ickle Puppy Tara and asked, in a valiant attempt to prevent mega bloodshed, Ickle Puppy Tara, which one is it going to be?
Devil chicken or
Angel chicken?

Well, gentle reader, what do you think that Ickle Puppy Tara did then?

Which was it going to be?

The devil or the angel?

The angel or the devil?

Decisions, decisions!

What did Ickle Puppy Tara finally choose?

A) Devil chicken

B) Angel chicken

C) both

D) neither but opted to bite PPRH's hand instead?


What do you think happened in this modern fairytale?

Did it all end in tears, bloodshed and mayhem or was there a happy ending?

How well do you know Ickle Puppy Tara?

NB No harm came to any puppy in the making of this post although PPRH had to be rushed off to hospital for a tetanus shot and 17 stitches after she tried to take Devil chicken away from Ickle Puppy Tara.

copyright 2009; Y.E.W. Heuzen

ADDENDUM: judging by the first 3 comments people seem to take this post seriously. It's not, it's all in jest. I know, I know, I have a warped sense of humor that does need some getting used to. But this post is a fairytale with Tara cast as the Big Bad Wolf and yours truly as Little Red Riding Hood (even though when all is said and done it's probably the other way round). :-)

Tara is having obedience lessons right now, 2 more to go and we're done with this course then we'll move on to the next one. She is mostly a very sweet and gentle little puppy, but right now she is at that stage that most puppies go through, where they suddenly and completely have forgotten all the commands they knew very well up til then. Hence this post.

And no, Tara has not harmed me in anyway, she wouldn't know how.


Lisa at Greenbow said...

Oh Yolanda this is awful. You better march that Miss Tara to the nearest Dog Obedience class and get her trained to not be so naughty. I hope you are alright.

guild-rez said...

Yolanda, I agree with Lisa..
You are in love with your dog, but the dog needs to be trained as quickly as possible!!
Hope your are doing o.k.
Wishing you all the best,

Cat with a garden said...

Oh noes! We are sending healing purrs, that must hurt very much. We know that you are already going to a dawg school with Tara, so keep up the work with her!
Your furry friends, Siena & Chilli

tina said...

Ah yes, the new puppies. Naughty girl-I think she is saying she is very sorry for her misdeeds. And ever so cute too.

Gail said...

YE, I was waiting for the horns or wings to be added to her costumes! You have a wicked sense of humor that I much appreciate. have a good week...gail

Nicole said...

hahaha Love the part about "the prettiest creature that was ever seen". Tara continues to be so cute.

Rose said...

I'm glad to know the stitches were all in jest! Ah, how could you possibly stay mad at such a cutie, no matter if the devil part comes out once in awhile:) We had to replace a lot of shoes when our dog Coco was a puppy, but now he's satisfied with his toys.

Yolanda, you have just added more to the "puppy urge" I have been having the last few months. Time to visit the local shelter again and see if my soulmate is there yet.

Anonymous said...

Ooh...that face. Tara is a beautiful dog. I can see she is well loved by PPRH aka you. Cute post. Great creative writing. Puppies will be puppies.

Margo said...

Hoi Yolanda,
Ik weet niet wat je allemaal geschreven hebt, maar het is in elk geval een leuk fotoverhaal geworden, mis ik nu wat foto's onderaan, of hoort dat gewoon zo?

Rosa said...

Oh those pups!

Cat with a garden said...

Phew, what a relief! We thought it was fun until you mentioned 17 stitches - that sent us off! You got us!

em said...

YE, puppies always make me rue the day i got them. they try the patience of a saint! thank goodness they do grow up and become good dogs - someday!

p.s. i knew you were joking...

Matron said...

Tara, what a beautiful young lady you are growing up to be. Pay attention in your obedience classes and you will get lots and lots of rewards. Brilliant post Yolanda!

Monica the Garden Faerie said...

If the riding hood part didn't give it all away, the Dutch "mountains" should have. You're so funny! But I guessed Tara picked BOTH... so I'm sure you want to tell me she started witht he devil chicken, right?! :)

jodi (bloomingwriter) said...

Giggle! That was fun...and the comments were even more fun. What a great story for Valentine's day. I'm glad that Tara's training of PPRH is going along nicely. :-)

Tyra in Vaxholm said...

Thank you Yolanda for posting a Tara post, you know she is my favourite dog on earth! She is the cutest thing.

xoxo Tyra

James A-S said...

Don't forget the end of the story when the woodcutter comes and rescues PPRH.
Be careful.
I reckon that Macavity cat (the gingery one licking his lips) probably has an axe secreted somewhere round the back of the greenhouse.

Anonymous said...

I can see that Tara (or Terror, at this point) has used all her charms quite well to get in good with PPRH -- and all of her readers!

easygardener said...

Very funny post. Tara looks so sweet. What better way to get back at her owner (who cast her as the big bad wolf)- she deliberately forgets all her doggy training lessons (lol)

garden girl said...

Aw Yolanda, you really had me there for a moment! I'm glad the stitches were only part of the fairy tale!

Tara is such a cutie, you're giving me puppy fever.

healingmagichands said...

I came along late enough to find the disclaimer. Don't give up on Tara. She CAN become an angel even if she likes the devil chicken the best. (I was going for her wanting both of them.) Check out thepost I have scheduled for tomorrow, in which Ruby displays her wonderful ability to learn new things. She has already learned she must walk on the paths between the new garden beds Jim and I just constructed.

Kerri said...

You do have a wicked sense of humor, Yolanda.
You had me laughing with your funny fairytale :)
Tara is as cute as can be!

Mr. McGregor's Daughter said...

Both the girl and I voted for the devil chicken. She enjoyed the post as much as I did. I remember those days of puppy disobedience, only it is much worse with a large dog, such as a Borzoi.

Karen - An Artist's Garden said...

You are such a naughty blogger Yolanda
Very good

Viooltje said...

No matter how absolutely brilliant your blog is, how bewitching your writing skills are, I just love it when your post starts with Tara. I almost forgot how fast puppies can grow, having to deal with 3 grown up wolves (even though they are still good at exterminating devil toys).
ICKLE PUPPY TARA! Priceless! It's SO good to be back.